In 2010 I ran a little half-marathon, called the
Veteran’s Marathon, through the Indiana countryside with my sisters.
In 2011 I was back to run the race with a friend. Last fall my wife
decided to run the race with her sisters and I said
I could watch the kids while she ran. But a couple of months before
the race the friend that had run with me the previous year asked if I
would run the full marathon with him. I said to myself, “Myself, you
just finished a triathlon so you’re in reasonably
good shape. Yes, there isn’t a lot of time to build up the mileage but
the race is nice and flat. How hard could it be?” Sometimes myself
can be such a moron.
But it wasn’t myself’s fault. I blame the race
directors that laid out the course. The first half, the half that I had
run twice before, had a few little rolling hills but wasn’t too bad.
So you can imagine my surprise when almost immediately
after the halfway point the road started going up and down like a 13
mile rollercoaster. They weren’t huge hills but they were relentless. I
imagined the race directors in a smoke filled room scheming how to
ambush unsuspecting racers.
- Race Director 1: How about we line the race course thousands of killer bee hives?
- Race Director 2: I have a better idea, let’s make the first half flat and second half absurdly hilly.
- Race Director 1: I like the way you think! **Maniacal Laugh!**
Let’s just say the rest of the race didn’t go
well. After about 17 miles my calves started seizing up and couldn’t
run up the hills anymore and I had to do a walk up, run down strategy.
As I limped across the Indiana countryside I had
some extra time so I started pretending that the traffic signs were
written for me. I happened to have my cell phone with me so that I
could send progress updates to my wife (so she wouldn’t
be waiting at the finish line for an hour wondering if I had been
attacked by killer bees). So here are a couple of texts that I sent to
my wife:
- “I'd go faster but the speed limit is 45. I assume they mean 45 minutes per mile.”
- “Now there's a sign that says ‘SLOW’”
Then towards the end there was one pleading with
them to leave me and save themselves and a lot of delirious whining,
but I’ll spare you that.
I really need to tell myself to shut it when he starts suggesting crazy things.
**********
Speaking of bees, I can't believe I haven't posted this recipe yet. I made it today for a birthday gathering at work. I had two people say that it was the best thing they'd ever eaten and one ask, seriously, if she could make an order for her next event. It comes from a historic reception center in Salt Lake City, UT called the Lion House, at which I used to work. I found a recipe a while ago but there are definitely some tricks to making it.
Sting of the Bee Cake
Ingredients:
- 1 c. butter (no substitutes)
- 2/3 c. sugar
- 2 eggs
- 3 c. flour, sifted
- 1 tbsp. baking powder
- 1 tsp. salt
- ½ c. milk
- Butter cream filling (below)
Cook topping as described below and
set aside to cool.
With mixer, cream butter and sugar
until soft, add eggs and mix well. Mix
in dry ingredients; slowly add milk. Beat until dough is thick, scrape sides
and mix a little more. Prepare 10-inch
spring-form pan: Place parchment on bottom of pan. Attach side of pan and line
with a strip of parchment paper.
Scoop dough into the pan and spread
out. Sprinkle small amount of flour on
top of dough and press dough evenly in spring-form pan. (Dough should feel firm
and press against the sides of pan.) Pour topping on dough and spread evenly.
Cover pan with foil and bake at 375
degrees for 30 minutes. Remove foil and bake for an additional 10-15 minutes
until cake looks firm and golden brown. Allow to cool in the fridge for at
least an hour. Split in half
horizontally. Fill with Butter Cream
Filling and raspberry preserves.
Note: This cake is similar to biscuits in texture.
Topping
Ingredients:
- ½ c. butter (no substitutes)
- ½ c. sugar
- 2 tbsp. milk
- 1 c. almonds, slivered
- 2 tsp. vanilla
Directions:
In medium saucepan, melt butter
until almost boiling. Add sugar and bring to a boil, stirring constantly.
Slowly add milk, stir carefully as mixture will pop. Return to a boil and add
almonds. Bring to a boil once again. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla.
Allow to cool to room temperature if made early in the day, or cool in refrigerator
until thick and cool to the touch. For best product, topping should be same
temperature as dough.
Butter Cream Filling
Ingredients:
- 1 c. butter (no substitutes)
- 2 c. powdered sugar
- 2 egg yolks
- 2 tsp. vanilla
- ½ c. raspberry preserves
Soften butter. Beat in powdered
sugar, egg yolks, and vanilla until fluffy (about 5 minutes). Spread on bottom
of split cake. Spread preserves on top of butter cream and replace cake top.
Adapted from the Lion House